"Follows a contract killer facing the end of his career who is thrilled when The Company pulls him back into the field training Gen Z newcomer: Wihlborg, a prodigy assassin with an attitude." 

OUR MOVIE REVIEW:

Two time Academy Award winner Christoph Waltz finds himself in yet another entry into an ever-expanding sub-genre of straight to Redbox movies. Apparently these are still a thing despite the recent defunctioning of Redbox kiosks. Where will we go now to find quality programming to accompany our McDouble and medium fry? ‘Only in theaters,’ someone responds to my rhetorical and facetious question. 

Ok, enough of my snark (for now). This movie really isn’t bad per se, nor is it good. Like most people, I am a huge fan of Christoph Waltz in his two Oscar winning Tarantino roles. Ever since then, he’s failed to capture my attention in the same way. The most inspired I’ve seen him be since these award deserving (and winning) performances was his appearance on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Jerry Seinfeld where he passionately displayed his vehement disdain for IHOP pancakes. There’s that snark again, damn it. *Insert ‘I couldn’t resist,’ Django Unchained Dr. Schultz meme here*

Waltz plays a veteran hitman, Danny Dolinski, who claims to be great at his job, despite most people he runs into knowing who he is from his reputation. You’d think this guy had a massive Instagram following despite his attempt to be a lowkey, ‘master of his craft’ hitman. After a workplace injury that I’m pretty sure he didn’t receive workman’s comp for, he’s ready to get back to what he’s supposedly good at. Instead he is given an assignment to train a newbie hitman (Wihlborg played by Cooper Hoffman) who’s a bit of an unlikable twerp, but oddly the unique unlikable characteristics of both Waltz and Cooper Hoffman’s characters cancel each other out and there is some amusement found in their sometimes cringe-worthy hangouts/bonding time. 

Walz sets a low bar in his masterclass of hitman 101, with his still-mending hand and gun handling antics akin to a cross between Wacky Wavable Inflatable Tube Man and Captain Jack Sparrow. Old Guy doesn’t provide much in the way of fun action scenes, but there are a couple action scenes that are fun, albeit brief. It makes you wish the movie were more heavy on these instances, instead of the bulk of the movie being Waltz doing his best impression of the ‘I’m too old for this sh#%’ Lethal Weapon trope. My favorite scene was a confrontation at a bar late in the movie which featured a cool song (Two Bullets by Mono Town) which added a much needed jolt of energy, but this jolt was needed much sooner than 15 minutes before the closing credits. Props to this band and their song though, which makes an encore in the end credits.

It’s cool to see Lucy Liu in a movie. Liu and Waltz have pretty good chemistry as long time friends whose relationship starts to evolve into something more romantic over the course of the movie. The mentor/mentee relationship the movie attempts to develop between Waltz and Hoffman feels a bit unearned and as an audience member you question why either would want to risk their own lives to save the other.

Old Guy finds itself trapped in a stagnant limbo of inoffensive mediocrity, despite its talented cast making their best efforts to elevate the lukewarm script and direction.