As someone who hasn’t played the Borderlands game series, I walked into Eli Roth’s filmic adaptation with a fresh pair of eyes, ready to view the film from an outsider’s perspective. I, of course, was aware that the film itself wasn’t being released without its share of negative publicity – before official reviews even rolled in, the word surrounding the production was toxic – but there was still the intention of perhaps enjoying the final result as a throwaway adventure.

Well, the throwaway mentality was correct. Despite the incredible, usually reliable talent Borderlands has assembled, Roth’s result is a mess of inexplicable, nonsensical proportions, riffing on every other similarly-themed genre effort in the interim; to give the cast some forgiveness, it is believed the script that attracted them to sign on was overtly butchered during production.

The Star Wars series, Mad Max, Fallout, Guardians of the Galaxy, Suicide Squad and Blade Runner are all felt in one way or another across Borderlands’ 102 minutes (ironically, the film doesn’t even accidentally stumble upon what makes the aforementioned titles infinitely better), as, in a galaxy far, far away (stop me if you’ve heard this one), there’s a wasteland, a rebel soldier, a bounty hunter, and a young girl who’s supposedly the key to unlocking an ancient prophecy that will unleash peace upon the planets.

It’s a somewhat straightforward narrative that gets entirely lost in misguided ambition. Too many cooks in this neon-soaked kitchen, if you will, which leaves most of the players on board appearing lost or unrealised; given the evident intricacies of certain characters and their relationships, a television series format would absolutely benefit the expansive nature of the world building here.
Whether there is anything present in this final edit that resembles the game is a question you’ll have to ask a devoted fan, but to this set of naked eyes, it all appears incredibly rushed in its journey; I don’t know if I dozed off or missed anything of substantial note, but one character’s backstory and the inclusion of their mother felt like an emotional arc that wasn’t given an organic introduction.
Cate Blanchett as the aforementioned bounty hunter archetype, Lilith, does what she can with questionable dialogue and exposition, letting her natural charisma shine through for a role that’s far beneath her; the most interesting thing about her involvement in such a trainwreck of a feature is relating it to her role in Tár, a film she made after Borderlands, but was released almost 2 years prior, where her character had a substantial fall from grace within her chosen profession.

The majority of the cast are likely to escape this movie unscathed, career-wise, but it certainly doesn’t excuse the fact that Jack Black’s voice work (his vocals are behind a robotic sidekick of sorts, Claptrap) is infuriatingly grating and Jamie Lee Curtis performs as if she’s been given no direction and yet too much simultaneously.

Favouring the costuming and brash attitudes of its characters over any actual development, there’s a wealth of ineptness on display here, and when you look at the film’s aesthetic it’s a real shame, as it can’t be denied that there’s been some care injected into the details regarding the look of Borderlands as a setting. And whilst the pacing issues and personality inconsistencies could be related to the fact that the film underwent re-shoots overseen by a different director – Deadpool helmer Tim Miller stepped in when Roth focused on his then-follow up, Thanksgiving – it all seems like the production as a whole was too-far gone by any point that no fresh perspective was going to improve such a limp production.

Marred by borrowed ideas and uninspired execution, Borderlands squanders any and all of its potential. It’s a shame that the dedicated work of so many is undone by the erroneous hands of a few, but this is truly one destination that isn’t even worth visiting out of morbid curiosity.